Year: 2020
Total Time: 44:02
Label: Napalm Records
“We are here just to have fun, get drunk and make a lot of money…”. Verse from “Treasure Chest Party Quest” which implies directly the main idea the sixth album of the Scottish pirates ALESTORM is all about.
Three years after the very successful “No Grave But The Sea” which took them even higher than expected, the band continues to tell the tales of famous pirates travelling through uncharted waters to find mythical treasures. And all these with an unending supply of rum and Christopher Bowes’ humour, which is sometimes childish and sometimes offensive. Anyway, the mastermind behind ALESTORM and GLORYHAMMER has found a way to constantly be part of the news, with the fans supporting this kind of Happy Metal they play and their concerts being a big carnival.
The journey starts with “Treasure Chest Party Quest” and “Funnybows”. Two classic ALESTORM songs with catchy riffs and tuneful choruses the fans will love. I am sure there is a big party getting ready to be unleashed with those songs in the concert halls. There are a lot of collaborations in this album. Vreth from FINNTROLL is participating in “Chomp Chomp” and Captain Yarrface from RUMAHOU in the rap metal song “Tortuga”. The first one is listenable, the second one is without comments. The best moment of the album comes with “Zombies Ate My Pirate Ship”, with Patty Gurdy’s unique voice veiling the song. Another nice moment is “Call Of The Waves”, with Ally Storch’s (SUBWAY TO SALLY) melodies standing out. Ally has contributed with her violin to the rest of the songs too.
Unfortunately, the pirate ship hit a rock and sunk in the Bikini Bottom. The songs “Pirate’s Scorn” and “Pirate Metal Drinking Crew” are good songs for kids’ parties, while the verse “….Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks…” from “Shit Boat (No Fans)” says it all…. To the rescue comes the eight minutes long “Wooden Leg Part 2 (The Woodening)”. The highlight of the album. It has recitements in Spanish and Japanese and the kind contributions of Fernando Ray of AFTERPAIN and the singers of the JAPANESE FOLK METAL. A true power metal song, taken from their early years, with black metal splashes and the chorus of the first “Wooden Leg” from “Sunset Of The Golden Age” as a finishing touch. The album comes to an end with a traditional Scottish ballad “Henry Martin”. A very unusual way to close the album for Christopher Bowes.
The deluxe edition includes a second CD which has all the songs played in the 16th century. It is nothing more than the music in an 8-bit version. Such acts are typical of ALESTORM. Who doesn’t remember three years ago the version “for dogs” of “No Grave But The Sea”?
In conclusion…The “Curse Of The Crystal Coconut” is pleasant to the ear if you wish to leave stress and worries behind for a while. But that is as far as it goes. Musically, it will offer nothing but a couple of nice moments. Lyrically, only humor. But this is who ALESTORM are. You either accept them or move on. But their ace up their sleeve is their live performances and they know it.
Rating: 4/10
Editor: Nikos Vlachos
Related Link: ALESTORM – Official Page
